


I Love You. I Hate You. And Yet I Love You.

by MoonbeamDancer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonbeamDancer/pseuds/MoonbeamDancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just supposed to be a fake relationship, but somehow Castiel really did fall in love with Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You. I Hate You. And Yet I Love You.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Signe_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/gifts).



> Written for the 2013 Spring Fling challenge on LJ for signe_chan.

Castiel honestly doesn't know how it happened or how he keeps getting himself into these situations... Well, that's not entirely true, it's because of Dean that he's in this current situation, so that answers one question. It had started out innocently enough. He had just been helping out a friend, trying to make someone else become uninterested and leave Dean alone. The someone else was Anna and along the way, Castiel had somehow fallen in love _for real_ with his best friend.

It had been Dean who came up with the brilliant plan of them dating. It made Castiel both happy and sad having Dean play his boyfriend. Happy, because it was something that he had wanted for a long time now, and sad because he knew it was fake and was the closest that he would ever get.

Everything had began a few weeks ago, Dean had come running up to him in the hall as Castiel was coming out of his English class, and had appeared rather flustered.  
"Cas, I need your help man."  
"Hello to you too Dean. How are you?" Castiel said, sidestepping Dean and continuing down the hall.  
"Sorry. Hi to you too, Cas." Dean replied, catching up quickly with Castiel.  
"That's better. What do you need help with?" Castiel asked.  
"It's Anna, she won't leave me alone." Dean replied. "I mean she's nice and all, but it was just one date and I'm not really that interested in her, and now she won't leave me alone."  
"Well, that's what you get for dating one of my cousins, you knew she had a crush on you." Castiel snorted.  
"Yeah, but I had no idea it was this bad, help a guy out please?" Dean asked. Castiel wouldn't say that he whined, but it was close enough.  
Castiel sighed before he said yes. Dean would be the death of him some day, he just knew it.

And it was all to get Anna off Dean's back, that was the part that killed him, really. All of this was an elaborate plot to get rid of some girl, when Dean could have saved himself the time and trouble and just told Anna that he wasn't interested in her. But when did Dean _ever_ do things the easy way?

Never, that's when...

So here Castiel was, playing boyfriend to his best friend, all the while said best friend is totally clueless as to how Castiel really felt. In truth Castiel could barely acknowledge to _himself_ how he felt, so Dean having no idea was fairly normal. When Anna saw them together for the first time, Castiel's heart ached for her,. Anna looked like someone had ripped out her heart and taken a sledgehammer to it. Castiel felt her pain, but at the same time, having Dean's attention on him was exactly what he thought it would be like.

In one word: Amazing. Dean smiled that smile that he normally reserved for people he dated and treated Castiel like he was the center of Dean's world. It worked like a charm to deter Anna and eventually she began to see someone else. But Dean and Castiel never "broke up", the story the pair as a couple worked its magic in keeping away unwanted attention. And if he was smart, Castiel would take his own advice and put a stop to this. But he was never good at listening to himself. So instead he wrote it all down, everything he had ever felt about Dean and how he felt about what they were doing. As time went on, it became harder and harder to see what was fake and what was real in their relationship anymore, the line of "friend" and "boyfriend" was becoming too blurry for Castiel. That is what gave him the courage to do what he did next and it was what brought his dream crashing down to reality.

He kissed Dean and it had not gone well. Dean had reacted badly and now refused to talk to Castiel.  
"You weren't supposed to fall in love with me! This was supposed to be fake, remember?" Dean yelled at him after pushing Castiel away.  
"I didn't want to!" Castiel shouted back. "But it happened anyway! Do you have any idea what its like, watching you be with all those other people and know that I can never have that? That what I have now is fake? I can't take this anymore Dean, I can't be a part of it anymore." Castiel sighed softly. "I want the real thing or nothing at all."  
"Then it's nothing at all, this wasn't supposed to happen and you should have known better." Dean replied hotly and stormed off before Castiel could form a reply.

Dean had been true to his word and 'nothing at all' was horrible. Dean didn't talk to Castiel at all. No calls after school, not in the hallway, if he saw Castiel he actually turned around and walked the other direction. That led to a few interesting ways for Dean to get to class, but the less said on that, the better. Eventually he stopped seeing Castiel at all and just walked on by, like they had never been friends at all. Castiel wasn't sure what hurt more being actively ignored or being invisible.

In response Castiel became more withdrawn and quiet, spending most of his time writing in his journal, all of which was lately about Dean. Not that that was any different from usual, but this time all his entries had a distinct heartbroken flavor to them. The urge to sign all the entries "Helga G. Pataki" was strong, but that's what he got for letting old episodes of "Hey Arnold" play in the background while he wrote.

As long as he wasn't making shrines to Dean in his closet out of Dean's discarded bubblegum, Castiel figured he was in the clear. That was the thought that made him turn off the television while he wrote.

"That's it, enough moping!" Gabriel said one afternoon, pulling Castiel's journal out of his hands. "You are coming with me and Kali and we are going out and having some fun."  
"No thank you." Castiel replied, taking his journal back.  
"You act like you get a choice." Gabriel snorted, grabbing the journal again and tossing it aside. "Put your shoes on Cassie, we're leaving."

"I thought you said we were going out." Castiel said the moment he saw Dean. They had stopped to get gas and had gone in to pay, stopping to look at the candy aisle.  
"You lied to me." Dean hissed at Sam, who had to grab Dean's arm to make him stay.  
"We did go out. I just never said what we were doing." Gabriel said. "You two need to talk. Now."  
"This has gone on long enough Dean. If I have to watch you mope about the house and listen to whiny hair metal any longer, so help me God, I don't know what I'll do to you." Sam replied to Dean.  
"Whiny hair metal? For real?" Kali asked, wrinkling her nose.  
"God, _yes_! I've had it up to here, no more moping." Sam told her.

"Cassie here has been writing obsessively in his journal. And it's always about Deano here. I swear, if I have to see one more entry-" Gabriel bitched right back.  
"You read my journal?" Castiel demanded.  
"How the hell else would we have been able to set all this up?" Gabriel shot back.  
"I don't want to talk to him." Dean muttered trying to walk away.   
Sam grabbed him again and pulled Dean back. "This isn't just about you."  
"The two of you need to talk and either apologize and be friends again or move on. Either way, apologizes will be had, even if we have to lock you in a closet to do it." Gabriel told them both.  
"That's actually not a bad idea. Grab them." Kali said, and grabbed Castiel's arm. "Help Sam." she tossed over her shoulder to Gabriel, dragging Castiel away to the janitor's closet.

Before either of them could really do anything, Castiel and Dean found themselves shoved unceremoniously into a small closet. Dean with much swearing and at least one punch thrown, Castiel had heard the thud. The door slammed shut and locked.  
"You aren't coming out until you kiss and make up!" Sam shouted through the door.  
"Literally!" Gabriel chirped.  
"Don't hold your breath." Kali snorted.  
"Let us out!" Dean yelled. "I swear to God Sam!" He banged him fist on the door.  
"No way!" Sam shouted back.  
Castiel groaned and slumped to the floor.

Neither of them talked for several minutes after Dean spent that time banging on the door and issuing various threats to both Gabriel and Sam. He left Kali out of it, but Castiel was fairly certain that was because she scared him just a little bit. Dean sat down next to him in a huff, arms crossed.  
"Are you seriously going to pout because they aren't letting us out?" Castiel asked.  
"Maybe." came the short reply.  
"We could talk you know, it would get us out of here faster."  
"I have nothing to say to you." Dean huffed.  
"Why not? Is what I told you so bad?" Castiel asked, turning to Dean.

Dean silently looked at the floor before shaking his head. "I don't know Cas. I just never thought of things like that before is all. And then you go and dump this on me."  
"So this is all _my_ fault?" Castiel demanded.  
"Why not? You're the one who fell in love!" Dean retorted.  
"I told you I didn't want to." Castiel growled softly, glaring at Dean.

"They done yet?" Gabriel asked, sipping his slushie as he walked back to the door.   
Sam looked up from where he was leaning against the door, even with it locked he wasn't taking any chances.  
"I heard them arguing for a little bit, but it's been quiet for a while."  
"That either means that they made up or someone's dead. Give it a couple more minutes and then open the door." Gabriel sat down across from Sam and glanced over at Kali who was flipping through a magazine. Without a word she passed him the newest copy of 'Weekly World News'.  
"Batboy got loose again. Your handiwork, right?" she asked dryly.  
"I had nothing to do with that and you know it." Gabriel told her and opened the paper.  
The three continued to wait.

"You could just apologize." Dean said.  
"Me? Why not you?" countered Castiel. "You're the one who walked away."  
The two still sat next to each other, Dean Indian style and Castiel with his arms wrapped around his knees.  
Dean opened his mouth and promptly shut it. "You're right Cas and I'm sorry. No more walking away."  
"I'm sorry too." Castiel admitted.  
"I'm not kissing you." Dean stated.  
"I don't expect you to." Castiel said.

"Open the door Sam, it's been long enough." Kali said.  
"Yeah, it's been too quiet too. Open the door, let's see who's dead." Gabriel chimed in.  
They got up and Sam opened the closet door. Dean and Castiel were still on the floor and they didn't look like they wanted to kill each other anymore.  
"Well, no one's dead. That's good." Sam said.  
"But have they kissed and made up yet?" Gabriel asked.  
"None of your damn business Gabriel." Dean shot back as he and Castiel got up and walked out of the closet.  
"No jokes." Dean told the other three. "Especially you Gabriel."  
"Aw, c'mon! They practically write themselves!" Gabriel protested. "Just one please?"  
"No. Dean and Castiel chorused.

A few weeks later:

"So everyone thinks we just had some lover's spat and made up?" Dean asked at lunch.  
Castiel nodded. "We were that good at being a fake couple."  
"God, people are weird." Dean said, drinking his soda.  
"That they are. But would it be so bad? Us together for real?" Castiel asked.  
"Cas..." Dean started to say.  
"Just think about it Dean. That's all." Castiel replied, turning his attention back to his lunch.  
"Don't need to, already made up my mind." Dean said, turning Castiel's head towards him and kissing him lightly on the mouth. "You're right it isn't such a bad idea at all."

The End


End file.
